What women really want?

IT'S THE million dollar question - what do women really want?
This is something which I have observed among family, friends and sisters.
Everything written in this article is with respect to a woman.

1. An automatic fat elimination process in the body.
If scientists can discover superbugs and name them after good old Delhi, they can surely find the bug that can automatically eliminate all the fat the moment she bites into a burger with extra cheese.

2. Husbands to be a little more appreciative of their cooking.
Please grow up guys, not everyone can cook like your mom - she has spent 40 years in the kitchen. Can't you give ur ladies some more time?

3. A maid with a silencer attached.
Available 24x7, this wonder maid should keep her mouth shut and work for nothing. This is what men call a wife. It is amazing how all the Ramu kaka s in movies are so obedient and pampering - too bad they don't exist in real life.

4. A man.
It is not too difficult to get one - but if you want one with the following features, you may have to look for him on another galaxy. He should love you like you are the last woman in the universe. He should multitask, be amazing in bed and know exactly what we want.
They should be there only when the ladies need them because they can't stop nagging at times.

5. Not to be asked 'Where's my wallet/ glasses/ car keys/ handkerchief?' every single morning by the other half.
It is because of things like these that women sometimes wish they had a punching bag! Can men ever learn to take care of their precious belongings (no puns intended)?

6. Zero-calorie versions of hot chocolate fudge, chocolate truffle cake, and everything else in chocolate.
They'd love to live on pure junk food - potato chips, cheesy pizzas, fried chicken - on a regular basis without feeling guilty about it.

7. Holidays that give them the chance to read just one book, without being interrupted with 'I am HUNGRY, Mom?' or 'I am BORED' every few minutes.

8. A body of their choice.
It could be Angelina Jolie's one month or J Lo's the next, depending on the kind of look they take a fancy to.

9. A long, hot bath with a glass of wine and aromatic candles all around and a scenic view from the bathroom.
No one knocking at the bathroom door, no barging in.

10. A decent home-cooked dinner prepared by their better halves.
When they are too exhausted to cook, men should chip in and prepare a meal for them and clean up the kitchen for a change. Note: Maggi is excluded from the list.

11. To be able to admire the dishy buttocks and the smooth skin of a younger man without feeling terrified when she realises that she could be old enough to be his mother.
Just appreciating a hot bod doesn't mean that they are cougars.

12. No backseat driving please.
They love the idea of long drives but constant criticism of their driving skills really puts them off. If men have a problem with their driving, why can't they get them a dishy chauffeur or a car that drives by itself. Women can drive and that's the reason why the government decided to give them a driver's license.

13. No backbiting, tutting or arched eyebrows from male colleagues when they have to dash off from work to pick up a sick child.
It is a genuine problem, they would never go out shopping on the pretext of our child falling sick.

14. One fruitful, decent conversation with their husbands at least once a day.
Communication is the key to a successful relationship but competing with the latest man gadget - whether an iPhone or iPad – really gets on one's nerves.

15. To go out on the roads of Delhi and know they won't be stared at or eve-teased or mugged; to talk to the bankers without being asked 'Can we talk to your husband?'.
It is a man's world, (I think they agree…. ;)) but people should consider the fact that they might, just might, bring in half the household income, if not more. They do wish at times that they are spoken eye to eye rather than eye to breast.

16. Meaningful, loving sex, with a long, endless foreplay, preceded and followed by candlelight conversations, cuddles, chocolates and kisses.
It sounds cliched but women love cliches and have all the right to get a little selfish in bed once in a while. PS: A quickie will do only if she has to get up earlier than usual.

17. Endearing and well-thought out surprises.
Women love surprises and it is high time men understood this. They don't want diamond rings. An empty laundry basket, a bottle of that Sauvignon Blanc, possession of the TV remote for a whole evening, and a day to be spent exactly as they wish - just once in a blue moon.

18. A wardrobe that refreshes itself after every six months.
Who wants to wear something that is oh-so-last-season?. True. Everyone wants new clothes that can suit every occasion. But on the contrary they end up with a pile of not just last season’s clothes, but last decade's. It makes them feel dull as dishwater.

19. Good obedient children who are loving and appreciative, who don't treat their mothers as slaves. Can't children go to bed with a smile on their faces rather than crying at the injustice of their mothers? These ladies've read 100 parenting books, for goodness sake. None of them seem to be working on their children.

20. Bras that fit.
I wonder why it is so difficult for them to get bras that are of the right size. Fancy, lacy, sexy bras that lift their cleavage and their moods would do wonders for sure. They hate it when someone points out bra straps peeping out of our sleeves.

21. Unlimited free local and international calls and a cell phone that upgrades itself every six months.
Women TALK and who wouldn't want to talk in style. But the exorbitant bills are a pain in the neck.

22. A high paying, stress-free, enjoyable and a satisfying job that needs the least amount of work.
One can go off on vacations every two weeks. And of course, they should be the boss.

23. A bed meant for a princess/ queen and for a change readied by the man of the house.
Huge fluffed-up pillows and a luxurious duvet that is changed regularly. Have men wondered why these ladies don't want to spend time in bed?

24. Silver and bronze artefacts that never go dull... never a layer of dust anywhere, even after a dust storm. And white linen, upholstery and tapestry that never get dirty.

25. A day at the spa.
They need at least one day in a month at the spa, getting pampered without worrying about the fat bill we have to pay at the end of the day.

26. Lifelong supply of matching footwear, bags and watches.
It is a headache to get accessories that go with all their dresses. Wouldn't it be great if their accessories changed colours according to the dresses their wear.

27. A Saturday night out dining with friends or at the movies rather than ending up watching television at home because the husband is busy at work. That would be the perfect way to end the week.

28. Jam free/clutter-free roads where they can drive without hearing swear words being used freely. Or else, be prepared for them to retort in similar fashion.

29. Pay their bills whenever they want to.
They hate being bugged by banks, and mobile phone service providers. They know that they have to pay their bills and they are not running away with your money. I wonder why these people don't go after the guys who give fake addresses and don't pay their bills regularly. These ladies are law abiding women and they will give them their money when they have it.

30. A clean home.
When a woman goes out for the day and leaves her husband in charge of the kids, she does not want to come back and see the children hungry and awake, tomato ketchup stains on the bed and messy bottles in the kitchen (including beer bottles). She wants the tables cleared of dirty dishes and no piles of dirty clothes on the floor.

A woman can always dream, can't she?