RATHER HEDONISTIC, but certainly simpler compared to a woman's demands.
That's how the men's list of wants turned out which I have observed in my friends, family, siblings.....
Here they are, but not in any order of importance:
1. Money, money, money. Put '10 crore or so in his account and never hassle him with tax issues - and voila, you have one happy man. Sure, it should all be in white. Men love the colour of money and they love it even more when it is white. Enough money to support all our frivolous expenditure, savings, EMIs and investments.
2. Six- pack, eight- pack, whatever.
These may be trends set by our Bollywood pin- up boys, but if they can do it why can't their fans? So men now want to pack some muscles into their abdomen. Six or eight - anything would work for me (I'm trying not to sound too fastidious). However, some men wish they could be proud of their tyres. We call it single pack, a sign of prosperity.
And women do like rich men... yet being fat isn't such a good idea.... Sigh..!!!.
3. Women who don't expect us to be mind readers. They don't want silicon goddesses, or size- zero babes with the sex appeal of stick insects. But they wish women could be more direct in communicating. They must specify if they just want to be listened to or they seek advice. Tell us what's wrong... or what you want and don't rely on telepathy to do it. Also, don't drag other issues into an argument... stick to the problem at hand.
4. A girl who can read our minds. When were men ever fair? They may not want to read a woman's mind, but they do want women to read what's on theirs.
Even if it means that they end up sounding a little like women. A woman with great telepathic skills - that's what they want. Yes, a woman who can guess what's on my mind would be great. We too want to be showered with compliments - not daily, but say once a month.
5. Maturity . Women grow up faster than men, experts say.
But men feel women should be more mature. They all seem to be giggly girls trapped in women's bodies. But if they are so mature, why don't they know how to react when a man is angry? Men want to play the angry young man and be left alone at times.
6. S. E. X. All things in life for a man revolve around the three- letter- word.
We agree that men can't think beyond their pants. They think about it 25 hours a day. It is on top of every man's mind, heart, body and soul.
They also would love to have good- looking girls at their workplace. There should be some eye- candy, especially in our team, so that we have someone to talk about while having a smoke.
7. S- P- A- C- E. It is sacred for them. They need it and crave for it badly. We need a room of our own, where we can lock ourselves up and not be bothered even if the world falls apart. It would be a dream- cometrue for a man to find a woman, who gives them that space.
8. Drink without snobbery.
Chuck taking in the aroma of wines and Scotch - this snobbery won't lead you anywhere. We sometimes drink just to get sloshed, rather than enjoy the oaky smell of Scotch. Yes, even if wine snobbery is a great way to impress women.
9. A job that pays us to go on vacation. All of them seem to be big on adventure sport, even if they chicken out on a roller coaster ride.
Trekking trips and adventure treks, all paid for.
Besides, providing that much- needed thrill in a man's life, they give us the break we want from the saas- bahu soap operas. On screen and sometimes in real life.
10. Night out with the guys. At least once week, a stag night- out because they don't want their world to always revolve around the women in their lives. Guys can have great fun together and that too with no strings attached.
11. Shopping is a pain at times.
It's boring if you have to stay in one single shop for hours. It is quite painful when your mother/ sister/ wife/ girlfriend cannot decide on what she wants to buy.
12. To be the life of a party. So what if they can't move their bodies like Michael Jackson or a John Travolta. So what if they are good only at a bad bhangra or a saphera dance? Your man loves the idea of grabbing all the attention at a party and is proud of his dance moves even if they make you wince. Sure, women love to attract attention at a party too, but they are a little more mature about it... ahem!
13. To be the alpha male at work/ home. We evolved from apes. Call it animal instincts but men crave to be the alpha male, especially at work, with bosses scared of them and women co- workers swooning all over them. And getting paid for even insubstantial work.
14. Condoms. A super- saver, mega economy pack of condoms.
It is a terrible idea to scout for condoms in the middle of the night. A lifetime supply of condoms wouldn't be bad at all.
15. Jacuzzi + Sauna. A luxurious bath in a jacuzzi, a glass of beer and a sexy woman at one's side. Really, did women say that they like to spend hours by themselves in the bath? Maybe something can be worked out.
16. To be treated like babies.
We are always pampering the women in our life. Except our mother, no one else pampers us that much. Sometimes we also want to be the baby in the relationship.
17. Sunday afternoon drinking.
A glass of chilled vodka with lime cordial would make for a perfect Sunday afternoon. Of course one shouldn't be howled at for doing the same. We just want to relax on a Sunday afternoon.
18. Easy hair removal procedures . Not having to get up each morning and shave. Yes, men do discuss hair removal creams and waxing. I am a hairy man. But instead of worrying about ways to get rid of body hair, I wish women would be more appreciative of out natural fur coat.
If Julia Roberts could show off her hairy armpits, why can't men?
19. Buffer stock of boxer shorts and underwears. The last thing men want to do is to shop for underwear.
It's boring. So a never- ending supply of boxer shorts would work for me.
20. Party every month . They want one big party a month without worrying about dropping drunk friends home or cleaning up the vomit on the carpet.
21. To be street smart. Whether they are street smart or not, men want to be known for their streetsmartness.
People should get the impression that we have the solution for everything.
22. Gizmos, gadgets, mean machines. A car that would make heads turn. A smart phone with unlimited data connection, GPS and turn- by- turn navigation ( men don't like asking for directions) along with an organiser and reminders that can jolt you from slumber. A giant screen high definition TV and hi- fi music system with digital data connection. Of course everything should be affordable.
23. An excellent couch. Remember Joey and Chandler in Friends ? How they spent hours sitting on their lazy boy chairs drinking beer and watching Baywatch ? Well, it seems to be a man's ultimate fantasy to have a multi- purpose comfortable couch on which they can do all sorts of things.
24. People who drive in their lanes. What does it take to get some traffic sense into some people?. They want people to drive in their lanes and obviously non- bumpy roads with no traffic. And yes, the traffic cops should treat us like royalty.
25. No alarm clocks. We are lazy, they admit. Alarm clocks should be completely banned. And women - mothers, sisters, wives should understand the importance of five more minutes of sleep.
26. Food, food, food and more food.
True, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. We don't expect our better-halves to cook like our mothers, all we want is for them to learn the basics of good cooking and we are ready to help them in the kitchen.
27. Dhishoom dhishoom. They want to be able to pick up a guy and throw him like a soft ball, and impress the audience.
One must learn to defend oneself, take up krav maga maybe.
28. A surprise bonus/ promotion/ hike. Once in a while, men would look forward to some surprise perks. Recession is over... so there's no excuse, they say.
29. No bills. They don't want to be bothered with bills. Once in a while, banks could waive off credit cards, bills and EMIs. We'll pay our utility bills, though
30. Corrupt politicians caught in sting operation. Men like talking about big things like politics and governance. We love watching politician caught in a sting operation. Well, a man can always dream...can't he!
